Havoc's List
by Lyriel
Summary: Drabble series based off the infamous Skippy's List. Hope you think it's as funny as I thought it was! ON HIATUS
1. Princess

Hey, everyone! You guessed it, I'm starting a new drabble series. This is based off of "The 213 Things Skippy Is No Longer Allowed To Do in the U. S. Army. (www dot skippyslist dot com slash skippylist dot html) WHICH I DO NOT OWN.I won't be able to do them all, so do not expect a 213 chapter drabble. I will try to keep them in order, though.

I'm starting off on #2, "My proper military title is 'Specialist Schwarz', not 'Princess Anastasia'."

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_Dear Diary,_ Fury wrote.

_I think I'm the only sane one left. Well, me and maybe Alphonse Elric. You would not believe what Havoc was doing today…_

The blond man had gotten a sparkly tiara from somewhere, and was wearing it around the office. Then, he'd gotten the bright idea to find one of those "Hello, my name is…" tags, and write 'Princess Anastasia' on it.

He'd then commenced ballet-dancing around the office, making everyone, including Roy, crack up.

Until Hawkeye had come in to see why no one was working.

Even she had to smile for a moment at the sight, before barking out, "Lieutenant!"

He stopped mid-pirouette, arms raised. "Yes?"

She paused at the sight of the nametag. "Unless you /want/ your proper military title to be Princess Anastasia, I'd suggest getting to work."

_And to think, I was bored earlier this week. I'm almost afraid to see what happens tomorrow…

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I hope I'm not breaking the 'no list' rule on here, since this isn't technically a list...

Also, I'm not the first person to do drabbles like this. My friend wrote up a bunch for FF7, and I stole the idea from her.

...I need a new notebook. My old one only has about 20 blankpages left.


	2. Black Magic

This one has numbers 3 & 4: "Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic" and "Not allowed to challenge anyone's disbelief of black magic by asking for hair".

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"No, you freak!" Ed yelled, clutching his braid and backing away from a grinning Havoc.

"But how am I supposed to prove my cool black magic powers? I have to have something that belongs to the victim!"

"You're insane." Ed ran. He very nearly flattened a passing Roy. Roy sighed. "What did you do this time?"

"Who, me?" Havoc looked innocent. "Nothing, sir, just made a little mention of black magic…"

"Black magic doesn't exist, Lieutenant."

"That's what he said, too. Give me a lock of hair and I'll prove it for you…"

"No." Roy looked like he was getting a headache. "Do you have to be given a specific order every time you think up some insane new stunt?"

"Maybe."

"I'm having you transferred."

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Icy Wolf Rage: Thanks for reviewing! You're the only one so far... I personally love Saiyuki, because it's got nearly everything. Demons, half-demons, not-so-holy priests, a dragon that turns into a jeep...hehe. It's got a good storyline, good characters, and it alternates between serious parts, sad parts, and parts where the four main characters are about to rip each other's heads off out of frustration. ("Stupid monkey!" "Pervy kappa!")  
Eh, I'm not good at summarizing stuff. I'd recommend checking it out for yourself.

Next up: #5.


	3. Implants

I'm back with #5! "Not allowed to get silicone breast implants." Hehehe.

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"Fury, do I look small?" Havoc stared down at his chest.

"What do you mean, sir?" Fury asked, confused. Havoc wasn't short…

"I mean here," Havoc said, gesturing. "I just get the feeling I could be so much…fuller."

Fury turned red the minute he figured out what Havoc meant. "What? No!"

"So you're saying I shouldn't get implants."

Fury choked. "Why are you even asking?"

"Because Roy hasn't prohibited it yet," Havoc answered, grinning.

"Second Lieutenant, you are specifically forbidden from getting breast implants!" Roy yelled from his office.

"Thank you sir," Fury yelled back gratefully.

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I know Havoc's not this...strange in the show, but there have to be times when everyone gets bored. He livens them up!

Genji: I didn't start with #1 because...well, I don't like South Park. I know it's a silly reason, but I can't write funny stuff about things I don't like...

Next up: #6!


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